I have been hit with so many random bouts of nostalgia lately. . .
. . .curious smells or sights or things that bring that warm sadness of moments that have passed and cannot be brought back. . .moments that although gone are not lost. . .moments that have become building blocks in my personality and my true self. . .
. . .Paul Harvey passed away. . .he is just another celebrity who will no longer grace the covers of magazines or do things that land him in the news. . .
But when I was a teenager. . .I worked in a little dry cleaner in Richfield, UT with a man named Kim Blackett. . .He was a funny, warm man and he let me work for him when I was 14. . . he was a good man. . . a really, really good man. Everyday while I was working. . .we would sit down for a minute and listen to Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story". It was a truely calm moment in my life. . .it was the eye of a storm I don't regret. . .the comfortable place after we left the storm in AZ and before I became a woman far to early. . .
I was so blessed to have that time. . .those moments. . .and I had forgotten how much I relished that bit of time just being a teenager. . .just living and breathing without fear or concern. . .when I slept through the night undisturbed and my biggest concern was who I was going to "go out" with. . . and who I was going to hang out with. . . and what my grades were. . .and I forgot how much Mr. Blackett and Mr. Harvey were a part of that. . . just two old guys telling me stories that I would rememeber later in my life when I just needed a little bit of "SOMETHING". . . a little bit of that calm. . .that peace. . .
Onto "Page. . .Two!" Mr. Harvey. . . Rest in Peace. . .and thank you. . .
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
My adventures in: Getting a Clue
Soooooo. If your heart tells you to do something. . . do it. It's smarter than your brain. . . your brain is just the back up. . . you know. . . there for support. . . like "The Muscles" (no it's not "The Brains" ha ha contrary to it's name).
I get to grow up today. . . I get to stop being a scardy cat and find myself. I get to listen. . . to that little voice. I get to feel humbled. . .and open. . .and I get to see my friends and family for the amazing, open, warm people that they are. I get to see someone I care about for their value as an amazing, brilliant person and not a stigma. I get to be happy because I choose to be. . . and not get lost in fear of people and their thoughts of me or those i love. . .
I get to trust. . .I get to trust myself. . .I get to trust him. . . and I get to have hope. I get to be alive. . . and I get to risk pain. . .I get to risk messing up. . .and i get to enjoy it with every fiber of my amazing being.
I get to be beautiful. . .I get to make someone smile at the thought of seeing me. . . I get to be stared at. . .I get to be noticed for my amazing spirt and my incredible brain. . . and i get to enjoy it unafraid. . .because I will not dissappoint. . .I am more than that. . .
I get to love my crazy brain. . . and accept that others can too. . .I get to find people who love me because of it. . .I get to be alive. . .I get to be unafraid. . .and i get to make mistakes.
But more than anything I get to choose incredible people that don't care that i make them. . .and will still tell me how many jewels I have on my pocket. . .
I get to grow up today. . . I get to stop being a scardy cat and find myself. I get to listen. . . to that little voice. I get to feel humbled. . .and open. . .and I get to see my friends and family for the amazing, open, warm people that they are. I get to see someone I care about for their value as an amazing, brilliant person and not a stigma. I get to be happy because I choose to be. . . and not get lost in fear of people and their thoughts of me or those i love. . .
I get to trust. . .I get to trust myself. . .I get to trust him. . . and I get to have hope. I get to be alive. . . and I get to risk pain. . .I get to risk messing up. . .and i get to enjoy it with every fiber of my amazing being.
I get to be beautiful. . .I get to make someone smile at the thought of seeing me. . . I get to be stared at. . .I get to be noticed for my amazing spirt and my incredible brain. . . and i get to enjoy it unafraid. . .because I will not dissappoint. . .I am more than that. . .
I get to love my crazy brain. . . and accept that others can too. . .I get to find people who love me because of it. . .I get to be alive. . .I get to be unafraid. . .and i get to make mistakes.
But more than anything I get to choose incredible people that don't care that i make them. . .and will still tell me how many jewels I have on my pocket. . .
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
When I was a kid. . .we didn't have "The Internet"
So. . .I am sitting here staring at my Twhirl. . . which feeds me my Twitter.com "Tweets" or messages, from all four accounts.
I am checking both Gmail accounts, My Facebook, my MySpace, my Linked In, updating my blog, and checking my Text messages on my phone.
Annnnnnd. . .I am wondering how I ever made it through high school with out these things. . . so this is a "remember when" blog. . . enjoy.
* When I was in elementary school, my mom would talk to my Aunt while cleaning the house. She accomplished this with a 100 ft phone cord.
*When I wanted to talk to an elementary school friend I walked to their house or waited till school the next day.
*When I got into Jr. High we got a CORDLESS PHONE *gasp* the thing was beautiful!! Seriously beautiful. AND you could take it 5 ft from the house and it still worked.
*Then came three-way calling. . .oh beautiful 3 way calling. . . it was awesome for talking to your TWO favorite people at the same time. . . or for tricking unsuspecting call recipients into saying things in front the third person. . .sitting silently on the line.
*In Jr. High, if I wanted to talk about someone. . . or find out if someone liked me...or my friend...or if someones friend liked someone elses friend. ... . .. we threw little pieces of paper over heads and behind the backs of teachers.
*If I didn't know where one of my friends were. . . I had to look. . . you know look around for them. . . like with my eyes. . .I know scary huh?
*In high school. . .if a boy called. . .and I wasn't there. . .my brothers or sister got to take a message. . . and tell me latter. . .rarely with any grace.
*If my mom didn't know where I was. . .she would call all my friends PARENTS and they would discuss the possibilities of our location. To much of this and she'd find out we'd told one parent one thing and another parent something else. . . and I was screwed.
*If my friends didn't answer their home phones and I wanted to hang out with them(thankfully I lived in a small town) I'd go wandering the city with other friends until we found them.
*Never once did an awkward photo of me end up on the internet. . . or spread through text messages like wild fire. . .
*While in High school, I got a computer for my birthday... it was 386...and it was BEAUTIFUL. . .I played Kings Quest and used Word Perfect. . .and I loved it. . . and I was spoiled cause my Step Dad had connections. . . no one else had a computer IN THEIR HOME! It was so cool.
And suddenly, I have the ability to speak to 55 people at onece on Twitter, update my entire family on any news through Facebook in a split second, text or call my kid to find out where she is, send an email to all my contacts, and all this in 6.5 seconds. . . Weird how things change. . .
I am checking both Gmail accounts, My Facebook, my MySpace, my Linked In, updating my blog, and checking my Text messages on my phone.
Annnnnnd. . .I am wondering how I ever made it through high school with out these things. . . so this is a "remember when" blog. . . enjoy.
* When I was in elementary school, my mom would talk to my Aunt while cleaning the house. She accomplished this with a 100 ft phone cord.
*When I wanted to talk to an elementary school friend I walked to their house or waited till school the next day.
*When I got into Jr. High we got a CORDLESS PHONE *gasp* the thing was beautiful!! Seriously beautiful. AND you could take it 5 ft from the house and it still worked.
*Then came three-way calling. . .oh beautiful 3 way calling. . . it was awesome for talking to your TWO favorite people at the same time. . . or for tricking unsuspecting call recipients into saying things in front the third person. . .sitting silently on the line.
*In Jr. High, if I wanted to talk about someone. . . or find out if someone liked me...or my friend...or if someones friend liked someone elses friend. ... . .. we threw little pieces of paper over heads and behind the backs of teachers.
*If I didn't know where one of my friends were. . . I had to look. . . you know look around for them. . . like with my eyes. . .I know scary huh?
*In high school. . .if a boy called. . .and I wasn't there. . .my brothers or sister got to take a message. . . and tell me latter. . .rarely with any grace.
*If my mom didn't know where I was. . .she would call all my friends PARENTS and they would discuss the possibilities of our location. To much of this and she'd find out we'd told one parent one thing and another parent something else. . . and I was screwed.
*If my friends didn't answer their home phones and I wanted to hang out with them(thankfully I lived in a small town) I'd go wandering the city with other friends until we found them.
*Never once did an awkward photo of me end up on the internet. . . or spread through text messages like wild fire. . .
*While in High school, I got a computer for my birthday... it was 386...and it was BEAUTIFUL. . .I played Kings Quest and used Word Perfect. . .and I loved it. . . and I was spoiled cause my Step Dad had connections. . . no one else had a computer IN THEIR HOME! It was so cool.
And suddenly, I have the ability to speak to 55 people at onece on Twitter, update my entire family on any news through Facebook in a split second, text or call my kid to find out where she is, send an email to all my contacts, and all this in 6.5 seconds. . . Weird how things change. . .
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
My adventures in: Parenting a 13 yr Old Girl
She's 13. . .yup. . .she's adorable and I love her.
I want to break the necks of her little friends. . .and the boy she broke up with. . .*sigh*
I am standing here watching my daughter go through some of the worst challenges she will face. . .being a teenager is HARD. Sorry to those of you who are saying"oh yeah, it has to be so hard. . . wait till she's an adult and has to take care of herself." Bull. . . Being a teenager, especially one just thrown into the world of Jr. High!. . .that's hard stuff. The girls are evil and the boys a idiots. . .you don't even understand yourself enough to decide what you know or like or love. . . you will swear you are in love a million times. . .you are worried about weight and hair and clothes and saying the right thing and doing the right thing and being the right thing. . .WHEW. . .
...Do it again. . .I dare you. I wouldn't. So how do you teach a girl to stand up for herself? How do you teach her that, as much as she FEELS like she should. . .going with the pack is usually a bad idea? How do you explain to her that you know her friends(or whatever we adults consider these brats) have NO IDEA what is best for her. . .that they have NO CLUE what an idiot choice drinking is. . .
There is one girl. . .this one little brat. . .that talks to my daughter and every time she does I wanna smack the girl in the back of the head for talking to my kid the way she does. . .is it normal to feel this much contempt over teenage girls?? She tells her that she is a chicken and that's ok. . .that's just part of her personality. She tells her she uses people as a human shield and that she should stand up for herself. . . but it's ok cause it's part of being"her age". . .
*Sigh*. . . and it's only just started. . .
Dear God,
Please help me be strong for the next 5 years. . . and for the 60 after that. . . my daughter deserves a mother that won't run her friends over with a car.
Amen
I want to break the necks of her little friends. . .and the boy she broke up with. . .*sigh*
I am standing here watching my daughter go through some of the worst challenges she will face. . .being a teenager is HARD. Sorry to those of you who are saying"oh yeah, it has to be so hard. . . wait till she's an adult and has to take care of herself." Bull. . . Being a teenager, especially one just thrown into the world of Jr. High!. . .that's hard stuff. The girls are evil and the boys a idiots. . .you don't even understand yourself enough to decide what you know or like or love. . . you will swear you are in love a million times. . .you are worried about weight and hair and clothes and saying the right thing and doing the right thing and being the right thing. . .WHEW. . .
...Do it again. . .I dare you. I wouldn't. So how do you teach a girl to stand up for herself? How do you teach her that, as much as she FEELS like she should. . .going with the pack is usually a bad idea? How do you explain to her that you know her friends(or whatever we adults consider these brats) have NO IDEA what is best for her. . .that they have NO CLUE what an idiot choice drinking is. . .
There is one girl. . .this one little brat. . .that talks to my daughter and every time she does I wanna smack the girl in the back of the head for talking to my kid the way she does. . .is it normal to feel this much contempt over teenage girls?? She tells her that she is a chicken and that's ok. . .that's just part of her personality. She tells her she uses people as a human shield and that she should stand up for herself. . . but it's ok cause it's part of being"her age". . .
*Sigh*. . . and it's only just started. . .
Dear God,
Please help me be strong for the next 5 years. . . and for the 60 after that. . . my daughter deserves a mother that won't run her friends over with a car.
Amen
Sunday, February 15, 2009
My adventures in: Getting Older
In one month and a few days(39 days) *sigh* I will be 30.
I thought I would be much more upset about this than I am. . .but I'm not. ACTUALLY. . .I am kinda excited. That's when all the good stuff happens. I will be free of the "20something's" I will be a real life, actual, honest to god woman. . .yeah, yeah. . .
But, I am feeling a real responsibility about it. Like once I join this group of adults, I will have to be more responsible and regal. I will have to never litter, never get tickets, not make dumb mistakes or forget to pay the power bill. I will have to be bothered by "kids these days", be the responsible mother that doesn't let her kids eat ice cream for breakfast, or dessert first. . .
. . . just so you know. . .I refuse.
If that somehow gets me kicked out of the "30something's" club, oh well. I aim to have a blast. I want to bring back sayings from my childhood, listen to music that is supposed to be obnoxious, go to the clubs and the movies, eat ice cream for breakfast WITH my kids. . .so on and so forth and such.
I was young...y o u n g... when I started this adulthood/parenting thing. I was scared and stupid and I made bad choices, but I stepped up and did it. . .bad choices and all. I didn't run...I didn't hide...I didn't dump it on my parents... I did it. I was different than the statistic, I was stronger than the average, and I think that earns me a pass. . .
During my 30's there will be some scary milestones in my life. . .some definite. . . some I am just sure of. . .but some of those things are as follows...
* I will watch two children get into a car for the first time on the STEERING WHEEL side and drive away. . .and I will think"Please God, protect that child. . .he/she is my only son/daughter...
*I will pack boxes for a girl who has become a woman so that she can go out into the world on her own. . .fighting college, drinking, friends, boyfriends, fear, and job interviews. . .and I will cry. . .like the first day of kindergarten.
* I will hide the boxes so the boy who has become a man (and won't stay my baby) can't make me cry like the girl who became a woman did. . .
*I will pull the boxes out of hiding because I will know it is time to let go. . .and I will cry even harder. . .
*I will live alone. . .at some point. . .for the first time in my life.
*I will get a midnight phone call from an upset teenager. . .who made the worst choice of his/her life. . .whatever that may be. . .and I will drive there feeling angry to pick them up. . .and leave there feeling blessed that they are mine. . .
* I will watch a boy. . .the most horrible boy in the world. . .love my daughter until he breaks her heart into a million pieces . . .I will have to call friends to come over and make sure I don't hunt him down in my car and "accidentally" run him over. . .twice. . . and I will do it all over again with my son and the most horrible girl in the world. . . .
* I will watch a girl. . .love my son until he breaks her heart into a million pieces. . .and I will have the talk with him about people and respect and what it really means to LOVE. . . and I will do it all over again with my daughter and her boy. . .
* I will hear the words "I am not your little girl/boy any more, Mom. . .I need to make this decision on my own" and MY heart will break into a million little pieces. . .and I will say the words"You will ALWAYS be my little girl/boy. . .even if you are 18/19/20. . ."
* I will say "this is my house and as long as you are under my roof, you follow my rules" and I will cringe. . .because one day long ago I swore I would never say it.
*I will buy/rent a dress/tux for the most beautiful/handsome child in the world to go to the most important dance of their lives. . .and I will pray...all night long... that the sex talk took. . .
* I will witness the graduation from high school of two of the most intelligent, amazing human beings on the face of this planet. . .and I will be so proud. . . and I will breath a sigh of relief. . .and I will send them into the world to make changes and lives. . . and I will cry. . .
*I will be amazing. . .I will make changes and decisions in my life that will make them proud. . .that will make ME proud. . .and I will be strong and incredible. . . and I will hear the words"Great job! that is one amazing Woman/Man you have raised there" . . . and I will cry. . .
I thought I would be much more upset about this than I am. . .but I'm not. ACTUALLY. . .I am kinda excited. That's when all the good stuff happens. I will be free of the "20something's" I will be a real life, actual, honest to god woman. . .yeah, yeah. . .
But, I am feeling a real responsibility about it. Like once I join this group of adults, I will have to be more responsible and regal. I will have to never litter, never get tickets, not make dumb mistakes or forget to pay the power bill. I will have to be bothered by "kids these days", be the responsible mother that doesn't let her kids eat ice cream for breakfast, or dessert first. . .
. . . just so you know. . .I refuse.
If that somehow gets me kicked out of the "30something's" club, oh well. I aim to have a blast. I want to bring back sayings from my childhood, listen to music that is supposed to be obnoxious, go to the clubs and the movies, eat ice cream for breakfast WITH my kids. . .so on and so forth and such.
I was young...y o u n g... when I started this adulthood/parenting thing. I was scared and stupid and I made bad choices, but I stepped up and did it. . .bad choices and all. I didn't run...I didn't hide...I didn't dump it on my parents... I did it. I was different than the statistic, I was stronger than the average, and I think that earns me a pass. . .
During my 30's there will be some scary milestones in my life. . .some definite. . . some I am just sure of. . .but some of those things are as follows...
* I will watch two children get into a car for the first time on the STEERING WHEEL side and drive away. . .and I will think"Please God, protect that child. . .he/she is my only son/daughter...
*I will pack boxes for a girl who has become a woman so that she can go out into the world on her own. . .fighting college, drinking, friends, boyfriends, fear, and job interviews. . .and I will cry. . .like the first day of kindergarten.
* I will hide the boxes so the boy who has become a man (and won't stay my baby) can't make me cry like the girl who became a woman did. . .
*I will pull the boxes out of hiding because I will know it is time to let go. . .and I will cry even harder. . .
*I will live alone. . .at some point. . .for the first time in my life.
*I will get a midnight phone call from an upset teenager. . .who made the worst choice of his/her life. . .whatever that may be. . .and I will drive there feeling angry to pick them up. . .and leave there feeling blessed that they are mine. . .
* I will watch a boy. . .the most horrible boy in the world. . .love my daughter until he breaks her heart into a million pieces . . .I will have to call friends to come over and make sure I don't hunt him down in my car and "accidentally" run him over. . .twice. . . and I will do it all over again with my son and the most horrible girl in the world. . . .
* I will watch a girl. . .love my son until he breaks her heart into a million pieces. . .and I will have the talk with him about people and respect and what it really means to LOVE. . . and I will do it all over again with my daughter and her boy. . .
* I will hear the words "I am not your little girl/boy any more, Mom. . .I need to make this decision on my own" and MY heart will break into a million little pieces. . .and I will say the words"You will ALWAYS be my little girl/boy. . .even if you are 18/19/20. . ."
* I will say "this is my house and as long as you are under my roof, you follow my rules" and I will cringe. . .because one day long ago I swore I would never say it.
*I will buy/rent a dress/tux for the most beautiful/handsome child in the world to go to the most important dance of their lives. . .and I will pray...all night long... that the sex talk took. . .
* I will witness the graduation from high school of two of the most intelligent, amazing human beings on the face of this planet. . .and I will be so proud. . . and I will breath a sigh of relief. . .and I will send them into the world to make changes and lives. . . and I will cry. . .
*I will be amazing. . .I will make changes and decisions in my life that will make them proud. . .that will make ME proud. . .and I will be strong and incredible. . . and I will hear the words"Great job! that is one amazing Woman/Man you have raised there" . . . and I will cry. . .
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Women are amazing. . .
(Men are too, but that's not this blog is it?)
I watched "Iron Jawed Angels" a while back. Really amazing movie. . .really "go woman" kinda movie. I won't make Nick or Chris or Ned watch it. . . but it was amazing. So. . .after the movie. . . I thought to myself "What have we done with it? What do we do with the freedoms we as Women have?" I decided to pay closer attention.
Today it really hit me. . .
whatever. . .we. . . want.
We are strong single mom's or we are good wives and mothers.
We stay home and raise kids or go out and raise businesses.
We fight wars. . .or fight to end them.
We get married. . .or stay single.
We are spiritual. . .or funny. . .or powerful. . .or kind. . .or bitchy. . .or all of the above.
I have gotten to listen to some really incredible woman talk randomly about their lives thanks to Twitter and Facebook and the internet. . .wow. . .
I am proud.
I watched "Iron Jawed Angels" a while back. Really amazing movie. . .really "go woman" kinda movie. I won't make Nick or Chris or Ned watch it. . . but it was amazing. So. . .after the movie. . . I thought to myself "What have we done with it? What do we do with the freedoms we as Women have?" I decided to pay closer attention.
Today it really hit me. . .
whatever. . .we. . . want.
We are strong single mom's or we are good wives and mothers.
We stay home and raise kids or go out and raise businesses.
We fight wars. . .or fight to end them.
We get married. . .or stay single.
We are spiritual. . .or funny. . .or powerful. . .or kind. . .or bitchy. . .or all of the above.
I have gotten to listen to some really incredible woman talk randomly about their lives thanks to Twitter and Facebook and the internet. . .wow. . .
I am proud.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Oldies but Goodies
I have. . . in my young life. . .come to know and love some incredible friends. Some have passed away, some have moved away, some have moved on never to return, some have moved on only to pop back in from time to time, and some have stuck around for the long haul. All. . .however. . .are amazing little pieces of my life. . .people who have taught me amazing things about life. . .and love. . .and sorrow. . .and beauty. I spent a bit of time with one who comes in and out of my life at the most amazing times. . .he was a part of a trade in to begin with (this is not a bad thing, it just means he was someone I met through someone else and our friendship lasted while the originating friendship did not). . .and i have adored him since the first days. . . He is a warm, funny, intelligent, and incredible artistic man.
He has. . .over the course of a few years. . .married and had the most beautiful child. . .and I inherited another amazing friend. She is a most amazing and brilliant and fierce woman. One of those girls who makes you want to be amazing. And she is stunning. . .and they are so perfectly matched. . .I am lucky to see people so happy.
We had a brief conversation about the original friend. . .I have not thought about her in soooo long and I realized. . . I don't miss her at all. I am not angry, or upset. . . I do not harbor any ill will. I. just. don't.miss.her. But I am grateful to her. I could tell you the funniest, most incredible, most spiritual, most amazing stories about my life with her in it. And I could tell you stories about how you do not have to be in love, to have your heart broken, you need only care about someone. . . even a friend. . .to know that pain. She was an incredible friend. . .she helped me through a difficult divorce and then she went away. and that is the end of the story.
It made me so grateful for the incredible ones who have stuck around for so long. Suzi, Stacy, Ian, Chris. . .and the amazing people they have brought with them. . .Ned, Tavish, Sara, Keith, Mollie. . .I am SO lucky. . .
And then I have this family. . .this incredible, brilliant, imperfect family full of people who make mistakes I love them inspite of. . .and who love me in spite of mine. . .My brilliant Children who know that even with my flaws and mistakes and the billions of detours down and back from the wrong way. . . .I LOVE them. . . .deeply. . . and madly. . .and think they are the most incredible thing I have ever been blessed with creating. My Mother. . .who has got to be one of the strongest fighters I have ever known. . .My father who taught me love and to keep childlike wonderment. . .and brothers and a sister who. . .despite flaws. . .make me laugh and smile everyday(even while we want to punch each other) My grandfather. . .a man with the most brilliant soul and heart you'd ever see on a man. . .who has been through SO much and come through whole and beautiful. And Aunts and Uncles who have loved me and my parents each so much. . .always. . .through tough tough times. . .and blessed me with cousins who have been a huge important part of my life. . .each in thier own times. . .but always with SUCH an impact. . .
And I realized that I have had amazing people just pop into my life for no reason. . . people I adore endlessly. . .random neighbors and co-workers who have wiggled into the depths of my heart and make me so happy. . . and. . .will likely be around for a good. . .long. . . amazing while. . .
. . .so. . .
. . .The next time I complain about my life. . .remind me to read this post.
Remind me. . .that no matter what . . .I am blessed to know some of the most incredible, brilliant, human souls on this planet. . .and that they love me. . .no matter what. . .because that is enough to make any girl beam. . .
*muah*. . .each of you. . .thanks ;)
He has. . .over the course of a few years. . .married and had the most beautiful child. . .and I inherited another amazing friend. She is a most amazing and brilliant and fierce woman. One of those girls who makes you want to be amazing. And she is stunning. . .and they are so perfectly matched. . .I am lucky to see people so happy.
We had a brief conversation about the original friend. . .I have not thought about her in soooo long and I realized. . . I don't miss her at all. I am not angry, or upset. . . I do not harbor any ill will. I. just. don't.miss.her. But I am grateful to her. I could tell you the funniest, most incredible, most spiritual, most amazing stories about my life with her in it. And I could tell you stories about how you do not have to be in love, to have your heart broken, you need only care about someone. . . even a friend. . .to know that pain. She was an incredible friend. . .she helped me through a difficult divorce and then she went away. and that is the end of the story.
It made me so grateful for the incredible ones who have stuck around for so long. Suzi, Stacy, Ian, Chris. . .and the amazing people they have brought with them. . .Ned, Tavish, Sara, Keith, Mollie. . .I am SO lucky. . .
And then I have this family. . .this incredible, brilliant, imperfect family full of people who make mistakes I love them inspite of. . .and who love me in spite of mine. . .My brilliant Children who know that even with my flaws and mistakes and the billions of detours down and back from the wrong way. . . .I LOVE them. . . .deeply. . . and madly. . .and think they are the most incredible thing I have ever been blessed with creating. My Mother. . .who has got to be one of the strongest fighters I have ever known. . .My father who taught me love and to keep childlike wonderment. . .and brothers and a sister who. . .despite flaws. . .make me laugh and smile everyday(even while we want to punch each other) My grandfather. . .a man with the most brilliant soul and heart you'd ever see on a man. . .who has been through SO much and come through whole and beautiful. And Aunts and Uncles who have loved me and my parents each so much. . .always. . .through tough tough times. . .and blessed me with cousins who have been a huge important part of my life. . .each in thier own times. . .but always with SUCH an impact. . .
And I realized that I have had amazing people just pop into my life for no reason. . . people I adore endlessly. . .random neighbors and co-workers who have wiggled into the depths of my heart and make me so happy. . . and. . .will likely be around for a good. . .long. . . amazing while. . .
. . .so. . .
. . .The next time I complain about my life. . .remind me to read this post.
Remind me. . .that no matter what . . .I am blessed to know some of the most incredible, brilliant, human souls on this planet. . .and that they love me. . .no matter what. . .because that is enough to make any girl beam. . .
*muah*. . .each of you. . .thanks ;)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Me First (2 posts 1 day. . .)
(. . .get over it ha ha)
Nick bought Whoppers-The original Malted Milk Balls :). . .
(. . . Thank God. . . cause I really need a good dose of chocolate.)
Point is, I forgot how delicious they are. It gave me one of those nostalgic "When I was Kid" moments. My Mom used to buy Whoppers, and Taco Bell, and Grapefruit DietRite soda. . .and my life was tough, but I was so HAPPY. Not all the time, but in general. So, if a kid who had a tough life could be so happy. . .even with all the things that were out of her control. . . why can't the adult?
And I answered my own question. Very shortly after asking it as a matter of fact. Because. . .I choose not to.
. . .So I choose to. I am happy. I will be happy. Cause I really am so lucky to have what I have and to have survived in one piece what I have survived in one piece. And to have Whoppers, and an AMAZING, Beautiful, Funny, Strong, Crazy, Pain in the Ass Mother. . .who I am so much like. . . who bought them when I was a kid so I could remember those moments now while eating them.
I am chasing life so much. . . running after it. . . trying to get and do things. . .and I am missing the scenery. I have a business right now that can support the people involved with a few customers a month. I am going to stop chasing my tail and do things that make me happy. . . or rather. . .lend to my happiness. I will not be angry. I will not get upset about stupid little things. I will clean up my house each day because I am so lucky to have one. . .and no matter how much of a rush you are in. . .I will do what I can for you after I have done what I can for ME.
Understand that ME includes my children. I put them first because they are a part of me and who I am. But as I have said before, I must secure my oxygen mask first so that I am alive to help them. So. . .here goes. . .again I am sure. . . but still. I will keep doing it till I get it right. . . cause I will. I really am that smart. . .and amazing.
Nick bought Whoppers-The original Malted Milk Balls :). . .
(. . . Thank God. . . cause I really need a good dose of chocolate.)
Point is, I forgot how delicious they are. It gave me one of those nostalgic "When I was Kid" moments. My Mom used to buy Whoppers, and Taco Bell, and Grapefruit DietRite soda. . .and my life was tough, but I was so HAPPY. Not all the time, but in general. So, if a kid who had a tough life could be so happy. . .even with all the things that were out of her control. . . why can't the adult?
And I answered my own question. Very shortly after asking it as a matter of fact. Because. . .I choose not to.
. . .So I choose to. I am happy. I will be happy. Cause I really am so lucky to have what I have and to have survived in one piece what I have survived in one piece. And to have Whoppers, and an AMAZING, Beautiful, Funny, Strong, Crazy, Pain in the Ass Mother. . .who I am so much like. . . who bought them when I was a kid so I could remember those moments now while eating them.
I am chasing life so much. . . running after it. . . trying to get and do things. . .and I am missing the scenery. I have a business right now that can support the people involved with a few customers a month. I am going to stop chasing my tail and do things that make me happy. . . or rather. . .lend to my happiness. I will not be angry. I will not get upset about stupid little things. I will clean up my house each day because I am so lucky to have one. . .and no matter how much of a rush you are in. . .I will do what I can for you after I have done what I can for ME.
Understand that ME includes my children. I put them first because they are a part of me and who I am. But as I have said before, I must secure my oxygen mask first so that I am alive to help them. So. . .here goes. . .again I am sure. . . but still. I will keep doing it till I get it right. . . cause I will. I really am that smart. . .and amazing.
Getting Started
Hello.
I am a woman
I am a single mother of two
I am an entrepreneur
Sometimes I am good at it and sometimes I am not
I have friends, some of them know each other. . . some don't. . . but they are all crazy
I would like to save the world. . .one little project at a time
I am always waist deep in a dozen projects
I am artsy
I am sometimes bitchy
I am (always) funny. . . this has yet to be officially corroborated
I am pretty sure I am crazy
I know I am different
I am happy. . .most of the time. . .when I am not, you'll know
and I love to write. . .a lot. . .
although my english and grammar are not what they used to be. . . this oughta fix that right up
So welcome to My Adventures In Everything. . . may you be entertained!
I am a woman
I am a single mother of two
I am an entrepreneur
Sometimes I am good at it and sometimes I am not
I have friends, some of them know each other. . . some don't. . . but they are all crazy
I would like to save the world. . .one little project at a time
I am always waist deep in a dozen projects
I am artsy
I am sometimes bitchy
I am (always) funny. . . this has yet to be officially corroborated
I am pretty sure I am crazy
I know I am different
I am happy. . .most of the time. . .when I am not, you'll know
and I love to write. . .a lot. . .
although my english and grammar are not what they used to be. . . this oughta fix that right up
So welcome to My Adventures In Everything. . . may you be entertained!
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