My Adventures In: Setting Some Rules...

I have been working with Keith Hubbard and The Phoenix Paradigm for some time now. I have been learning things about myself, trying new things, giving myself some credit, and taking on some demons. It feels good, and he is good at what he does. If you haven't checked out him and his company yet, I HIGHLY recommend it.

I have also encouraged a good number of people who have seen a change in me to work with him. And as they have, we have built some awesome relationships and established new rules. We talk more openly and with a great deal of bluntness and honesty, without hurt feelings and arguments. . .it is AWESOME...

There is a bit more to it than that too. I am learning to set boundaries. With EVERYONE. I have not been very good at this in the past and it has resulted in being walked on...or being so blunt that I am rude...or blowing up when it becomes to much...I even stand at my sink doing dishes and have imaginary arguments with people I am frustrated with...

So here they are...
...These are my rules...my boundaries. Laugh if you like...talk about them with others...say how silly they sound...steal them for yourself...tell me how great they are...I really don't care. Just know that I mean them. With all my heart.

The Rules of Amy

1. I am important. If I am not important to you, then we have no relationship and should cease communicating.

2. I am strange. I will not be mocked for my strangeness although we can most certainly talk (and laugh) about it together.

3. I am creative. You don't have to like what I create, you don't have to see the beauty in it that I do, you can critique it, but you do not get to mock it or make me feel silly or bad about it or creating it.

4. I deserve support. This is a two part rule. A. Plan on helping me out every once in awhile when I need help or support. If you can't do that, it's ok... but don't ask for mine. B. I deserve for you to follow through. Again if you can't follow through, don't offer help...and then refer to A.

5. I am beautiful. If you are going to be in my life, you get to put up with my weight, my hair cut, my hair color, my choice of clothing and make-up. You can recommend things, you can suggest kindly that one way looks better than another. You DO NOT get to make fun, make rude comments, make jokes, or tell me I should change.

6. I am changing. My changes are for me and my children. They are not for you. If you do not like the changes I am making...I recommend you check yourself, and then get over it...or walk away.

7. I am committing to honesty. If my honest comments bother you, I apologize. I will not stop making them, but I will do my best to speak from a kind and compassionate place. Although I may slip up and I deserve your compassion when I do.

8. I am the mother of my children. Although this may frustrate the hell out of you, it is still the fact of the matter. You may not like what I choose to do. You may not want to follow along with what I say cannot be done, or will be done...but in all honesty, unless it is unsafe or illegal, you don't have a choice. Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions but in the end, I will choose what I think is best, and you can support that or cease to have a part in their lives.

9. I will screw up. I am human...beautifully, magically, wondrously human. I hold firm to the lesson that there are "no mistakes, only lessons" and I will never stop learning. I will learn until I am no longer breathing. I deserve to be loved, because of that humanity.

10. I love wholly. I will love you no matter what you choose to do. If at some point I have hurt you or you have hurt me. . .or we have simply parted ways...Always know that you can come back...any time...and I will still have a warm spot in my heart for you... and A safe place in my home for you. No matter what.