I don't believe in glorifying the dead. I don't want anyone to say, when I pass, that I was calm or quiet...or that I kept a clean house and I was organized. If you want a to hear a glorified version of Ray Hubbard, read something else. Here, I will be honest...
...The best part of that is it isn't hard to be honest. Ray was feisty, he said what he meant. If I was an ass hole about something, he told me so...and I loved him for it. He was also brilliant with words. . .he could spin tales of love and beauty...poems to melt a heart...sad, melancholy words of love lost...
He was funny...hilarious actually. He talked to much sometimes...he made me laugh...and told me when it was time to shut up. He told me I was beautiful, incredible, spiritual and smart. I believed him. Because he was worth believing. He made mistakes, because he was human. He was ok with being human. He pissed me off, occasionally...and I always forgave him. He loved me too much not to be worthy of forgiveness. He sat at that table...because I asked him to, and because it was important to his son. He took my daughter and I out to "family celebration dinner" because I was part of the family. He TOLD ME all the time. He was an ass, and a hero, and a human, and a beautiful, amazing person. He appreciated my crazy and I adored his. He gave me the greatest gifts...he raised beautiful children...who are an incredible and beautiful part of my life.
I am lucky to have known him. Happy to have loved him. And BLESSED to have been loved BY him.
He passed away, last night... He went on to the next thing. And I am going to miss him. Because he never bullshited me, never asked what I was doing on his family hay ride, or family dinner...he let me sneak food before dinner was done, he called me smart ass, and he loved me...
...and I am a very, very lucky girl.
No comments:
Post a Comment